Letting Go

I have no idea how to describe how I feel now but I will try:

I always study, or at least I try to study, as much as I can or I need for a test or exam. Today not did I only fail my xx hours of studying I  have also failed myself. Idk what I was thinking during the test and idk why I wrote all the wrong answers when I clearly know the correct ones. It could have been the anxiety, the situation I was in and maybe the lack of time but I know I have zero excuse. It's so nerve wrecking because I know that I know my shit but I still went ahead to write all the rubbish I can't even say how disappointed I am with myself???

But as much as I am upset with myself, what's done is done and I should stop crying over spilt milk. I was whining the entire night, over dinner and even in the movies with J (we caught Maleficent bc we had nothing to do when we finished dinner at 7pm HAHA) It was good tho!! I did feel better after the movie but I can't let go the fact that I did so badly for today's paper, which brings me to a question: can we really let go?

What does letting go even suppose to mean? Tell yourself that it's ok to do badly this time and to work harder for finals, forgiving someone who hurt you or erasing that part of your life you wish didn't exist. I guess anything that allows you to be at peace, to be happy, doesn't matter whether you actually forgive/forget/erase - is reasonable.

Then again, it is difficult to let things go especially if it is something important. But is it more difficult to keep harping over it?? IDK maybe some people want hold that part of them so closely because it was/is so significant. Or perhaps it was a regret, which is a barrier now for one to live freely.

Well then maybe the first step to continue living is to let yourself go.